Grade A, 2018, 20" x 30"
Newfound Femininity, 2018, 20" x 30"
Deconstructed, 2018, 20" x 30"
A New Intimacy, 2018, 20" x 30"
Feeding, 2018, 20" x 30"
Almost Pretty, 2018, 20" x 30"
A Token of Affection, 2018, 20" x 30"
Shrine to the Shaft, 2018, 20" x 30"
Burn it Down to Build it up, 2018, 20" x 30"
The creation of life is violent, destructive and so common place that we are suppose to partake in the process seemingly with ease. Women are expected to suddenly cast aside who we have been and care for our children with tunnel like vision and self-sacrificial zeal. Perhaps, almost more devastating, is the unspoken understanding that nobody wants to hear about the traumatic transition (physically, mentally and emotionally) and the accompanying loss of self. Society seems to create a specific space in the cultural dialogue for mothers and it is both removed from the everyday and harshly scrutinized. It is a ridiculous taboo. It is in this space of quietly suffering in a cultural void that this project has spawned.
Impatiently Coping is a visualization of my ongoing experience in postpartum re-identification and search for personal value and fulfillment outside of my new role. Women are used to existing in an Orwellian world where we are taught that eyes are always upon us, whether they are judging, comparing, preying or lusting. This feels even more true now as I try to cope with an unfamiliar body, loss of autonomy, loss of any recognizable identity while all the time knowing that I will be judged most harshly as “Mother”. Impatiently coping is designed to put the viewer at unease while enticing them to continue looking. Each image uses classic still life subjects and imagery in a way designed to make them unfamiliar and unsettling. The images do not strive to be pretty or perfect or romantic as is often the case in floral still life, but instead are loud, difficult and demanding to be seen in all their absurdity.
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